Very often our actions and intentions are read quite differently by others.  You may have done something with a good intent and the other person sees it as bad.  People see everything through their own biases.  Let us say that you offer a relative some financial help and they take it as an insult.

Sometimes such actions were done with no conscious intention at all but assume large proportion in someone’s mind who is sensitive to them.  Let us say your wife is sensitive about her cooking and in particular does not good pasta.  If you appreciate your mother’s pasta, she is likely to take offense.  In such cases, we get very upset when someone wrongly accuses us of something bad. Let us say someone wrongly accuses you of a theft. You will get very upset and vigorously defend yourself.

Why do we care? We care because we all seek accetance from our social circle and close relatives. Accusations make us feel alienated and attacked.  So in this case, we have become upset through a chain of misguided events.   We have transferred their mind demons to ourselves.